Posted on July 20, 2012
This is “Open Book” style. HINT: All of the questions below have just one correct and honorable answer. Can you find the exception? You will not be graded.
You’ve received an invitation to a Flag Day party. The invitation is addressed to you. You really want to bring your five-year-old son. You will:
- Bring him along. Clearly this was an oversight.
- Find a babysitter.
- Call the host and ask if you can bring him along.
It’s the 4th of July and you are going boating with friends. You are very popular as you’ve been boating every weekend this summer on a different lake. You have some leftover bait from May that is making a stink in your refrigerator. You bring it along and do the following:
- Use your worms to catch “The Big One”.
- Deposit the dead worms into the nearest designated trash receptacle.
- Empty the contents into the lake – it’s free fish food.
You walk into the break-room at work for a mid-day cup of joe. Your boss confidently strides in behind you. He seizes the opportunity to corner a co-worker and retell in vivid detail the highlights of his colonoscopy. You immediately:
- Post your resume on CareerBuilder.com
- Assume the quiet and humble Mona Lisa grin while silently plotting your escape back to your cube.
- Join in the fun and contribute your mammogram exam story.
You decide it’s time for a change. You drop $150 for a salon visit that’s left your hair looking like Ronald McDonald. You will:
- Leave a 20% tip for the aesthetician who brow waxed you to hairless perfection.
- Leave no tip for the hair stylist and a comment for the manager.
- Leave a 25% tip to everyone who touched you because you don’t want to appear cheap.
You’ve been asked to be Maid of Honor for your third cousin’s sixth wedding. She’s already chosen your dress. It will set you back only $625.00. She is having 15 attendants & seven bridal showers. The last time you saw her was at the family reunion 10 years ago. You are not chummy. You should:
- Accept the honor begrudgingly after checking the balance in your 401K. She needs you.
- Thank her for thinking of you but you must politely decline. Your new job will not allow you the time to support her properly. Whew.
- Run and change your phone number.
You are at your son’s soccer tournament. Your son is an athletic phenomenon. The referee does not seem to notice his genius and ejects him from the game for purposely tripping an opposing player. You are dumbfounded. You must:
- Charge the field and challenge the referee.
- Keep your mouth shut and let the kid suffer the consequence for his action.
- Congratulate your son for aggressive prowess and buy him a snow cone.
You are sitting at the dining table of a friend who just spent two days cooking a beautiful meal for you. No cost was spared which is apparent from the amount of seafood in front of you. You hate seafood. You will:
- Politely push your plate aside and tell the host you detest seafood.
- Smile, be gracious and eat what you can understanding the time and cost your friend invested for you.
- Ask the host if he would call Pizza Hut.
It’s 5:30pm on a Tuesday and you’re getting your sweat on at the gym. Your heart is a flutter but not from your treadmill pace. You spot HIM. The Herculean specimen has not caught your ogling but you’re sure that another 45 minute run spent close to him will catch his eye. You must:
- Hog the treadmill until your arches collapse or he asks you to share a smoothie.
- End your treadmill run, wipe down the machine and move promptly to another.
- “Accidentally” spill your water bottle contents on his Nike’s to capture his attention.
If you happened to choose answer 1 or 3, do yourself a favor and review some of Faux Pas’ previous postings. This could prevent you from becoming the next blogging victim or better yet, could prevent you from causing offense to someone else.