Posts from the “Out & About” Category

At the ATM

Posted on October 13, 2012

I am not a frequent visitor to the ATM machine.  This is primarily due to the fact I have little self-control over ready-at-hand cash.  If I have cash in my wallet, I can justify frivolous spending like no one else.  I’ve been able to tame my affliction fairly well however, there is the occasional need for cash.  One such occasion recently presented itself when I was required to present cash for an international money transfer I needed to place. You guessed it; faux pas inspiration reared it’s beautiful head once again. It was a gorgeous fall afternoon.  68 degrees, light breeze and a sky full of sun.  The ATM I approached was situated outdoors and canopied with a small awning to protect from window…

It’s (mostly) a pleasure to meet you: Introductions

Posted on September 29, 2012

I recently resigned from a company that I had been a part of for 15 years.  I was offered a position with another company that was just too good to pass up.  Being the new kid on the block comes with its perks and disadvantages.  The perks feel like Christmas morning and I’m the bright, shiny new present under the tree.  Everyone is welcoming and helpful as I navigate my way through the new organization.  The disadvantages come with the fact that I’m navigating my way through the organization and have not yet successfully memorized the organizational chart (aka: I don’t know anyone). As luck would have it, my new department scheduled a social 1 1/2 weeks after my first day.  A nice little…

The Art of the Air Kiss

Posted on September 1, 2012

I know what images are dancing around in your head.  Young Hollywood starlets, “Want-to-be-Famous-for-Nothings”, The Red Carpet.  While the rise of American celebrity continues to plague us with ridiculous demonstrations of artificial behaviors, it is the air kiss that holds genuine promise for sincerity if executed properly. Although it might be assumed that this cultural phenomenon originated in Hollywood, its inception actually dates back more than a century ago from countries far, far away.  It is hard to pinpoint the exact location but it’s safe to claim that air kissing was not invented by the Housewives of Orange County.  These gals may only take claim to re-imaging the air kiss into a disingenuous and hollow greeting. Let’s begin our lesson with the Five W’s:…

SuperMarket – Small Civilities

Posted on August 10, 2012

Another recent excursion to the grocery store yielded not only a bargain on my favorite yogurt but a wealth of Faux Pas topics.  Yes, it was a trip to Crazyville.  While an abundance of themes eagerly await my purging, I will relate the following tidbit: Whose responsibility is it to place the partition bar on the conveyor belt? Answer: Whoever is in the front of the queue nearest the cash register. Reason: To keep each person’s lot separated from the other. Possible Reason Ramifications: Cost  (aka:To avoid paying for and coming home with someone else’s delicious blood sausage or extra absorbent tampons.)  This is only an issue if you are a menopausal vegan on a restricted budget.  No matter your lifestyle, no one wants…

Gentlemen – Flip your Lid

Posted on August 4, 2012

“Cock your hat – angles are attitudes”                                                                           Frank Sinatra Once upon a time, men and their hats were divided into two camps: in one camp, a hat was worn for function, the other camp wore a hat for style.  With the passage of time,  distinctions and functions have faded. While our culture continues to become more casual with each generation, I believe that all men have had one desire throughout the millenniums: to be respected.  Second desire: to be cool. Gone are the days when a young man was taught how to flip his lid respectfully.  Every once in a great while we might be privileged…

Pop Quiz

Posted on July 20, 2012

This is “Open Book” style.  HINT:  All of the questions below have just one correct and honorable answer.  Can you find the exception?  You will not be graded. ♦ You’ve received an invitation to a Flag Day party.  The invitation is addressed to you.  You really want to bring your five-year-old son.  You will: Bring him along.  Clearly this was an oversight. Find a babysitter. Call the host and ask if you can bring him along. It’s the 4th of July and you are going boating with friends.  You are very popular as you’ve been boating every weekend this summer on a different lake.  You have some leftover bait from May that is making a stink in your refrigerator.  You bring it along and…

Colors of Rude

Posted on July 14, 2012

As I see it, rude behavior comes in a rainbow of colors.  Each color signifies a degree and intent. ♣ BLUE: Unintentional Basically, these types of folk offenders just don’t know any better.  While they may not have grown up in a barn, they were either not taught otherwise or missed the lesson.  These types of offenses are easily forgiven.  Example:  Your mother-in-law audibly slurps her Earl Grey tea and uses her dinner fork to scratch her back at the dinner table.  These offenses are not meant to hurt and are not directed to you. ♣ ORANGE: Disguised or Unconscious Orange faux pas’ could be divided into two camps but the degrees are the same.  Generally, these are illustrated by people who are oblivious…