“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”  Mae West

The wonderful world of wedding season is upon us.  For some, this means excitement and joy, for others it signifies relief from the abyss of planning purgatory.  Having personally survived many weddings (my own as well as my children’s) and being witness to countless others, I feel it is my duty to right the ship on Maid of Honor duties.

Ladies, if you have been honored with a request to be a Maid or Matron of Honor, you’ve essentially been called to duty.  Don’t panic.  This is a job for the tenacious; the tough; the strong and forcible!  YOU CAN DO IT!  Here’s how you can do it with style…

Perhaps the most important role of your mission is to be a constant support for the bride to be.  There will be tears of panic and exhaustion.  You will be an encouraging soldier of steel.  You will dig deep to offer laughter and sensitive ear.  As the chairwoman of dictatorship, you will be orchestrating all the ladies into action.  You must ensure that dresses are chosen, party details are communicated, bridal showers are planned.  You will attend all fittings, tastings and coordinate all behind the scene activities.  Exhausting?  You bet it is but you will handle all these tasks with aplomb and with a smile on your face.  Don’t feel like smiling?  Fake it.

The big day has arrived.  You might think your duties have concluded.  They have not.  Get your rest and down a Red Bull sister.  All your hard work has culminated into a grand finale.

Your job on the big day will consist of a whirlwind of tasks and details.  This is not a job for the faint of heart.  You must ensure the maids in waiting adhere to the schedule of events, get their hair and makeup done and distribute the flowers.  You will handle all these tasks simultaneously while championing the bride.  The ceremony begins.  Now you are thinking that your mission has been fulfilled. Wrong again.  Down another Red Bull and smile.

You will arrange the bride’s veil and train, protectively hold her bouquet during the vow swap and safeguard the groom’s ring until the deed is done.  Done?  Nope. Smile.

You proceed with the signing of the marriage license, act as a hostess at the reception, ensure the bride eats and dance with the Best Man and other groomsmen.  You will collect the gifts and eloquently deliver the speech you spent months preparing.  You are everything to everybody.  You are a woman of steel and have just earned the distinguished Medal of Honor.  Your tasks have qualified you to run any American boardroom.  While you may not be able to add this to your resume, you certainly can rest assured you’ve proudly demonstrated your loyalty and friendship.  You sacrificially given the best part of yourself solely for the enjoyment of another.  That is noble, good and right.   The best part…you will have handled this with such grace and efficiency, everyone will want you to be their M.O.H.  You get to repeat the whole experience.  Yippee.

I’ve personally never been called to action as a Maid of Honor and I confess, I am relieved.  I have however; been summoned to the role of flower girl three times and enjoy the minimal responsibilities that come with that role.  The flower girl is a mascot of sorts.  She appears only when needed with flowers in hand.  That’s the appointment for me.