Posts by K. Martini

No Free Johns

Posted on February 27, 2015

  Anyone in my familial circle can tell you I have a bladder possessing the stamina of an Olympian camel.  As odd as it may be, I am quietly proud of this ability.  I wouldn’t put it on par with my ability to turn my tongue upside down or my capacity to wiggle both ears alternately but one that I proud of none the less.  You may ask how this fascinating bit of ridiculousness could in any way be applicable to a faux pas topic.  Well, let me tell you… The Northland skies recently delivered us two feet of fresh, powdery snow.   With enthusiasm, my husband and I loaded the snowmobiles to ride remote, wooded trails and cross frozen lakes and rivers.  Along about the…

What is a party with spinich dip? It’s a Direct Sales Home Party!

Posted on January 11, 2015

I recall the days when Tupperware and Avon were the home party king-pins.  In fact, other than traveling salespeople peddling encyclopedias and vacuums, burping plasticware and Skin-So-Soft were only available through prestigious home party sales.  I could not wait for the seasonal Avon catalog to be released.  It was the female pre-pubescent equivalent of the lingerie section of the Sears catalog for the boys.  Page upon glossy page of big girl glamour enticed me.  I don’t recall my mother ever hosting such a soiree which accounts for why I relied on taking babysitting jobs from Avon representatives to obtain free samples of girlie goodies.  Today, you could attend a home party nearly every night for four years and still not exhaust the product possibilities. …

Revolving Door Dilemma

Posted on November 23, 2014

This year’s work travels have uncovered a topic that bears        address.  Chicago, New York, Atlanta all presented unique but comparable situations that resulted in a vast array of outcomes.  Some of them I experienced directly; some as a casual  but fascinated observer.  I’m talking about the revolving door.  As unassuming as the revolving door is, gender entry presents a complex faux pas conundrum. One personal case in point… I arrive (alive) at  my New York hotel via cab and approach the revolving door at almost the same time a swarthy looking gentleman approaches.  I will call him “Jack” because nearly all masculine  media heroes are named Jack.  A well-appointed doorman was present and had he not been pre-occupied, I am sure…

Trial Style

Posted on March 15, 2014

Two years ago I received a very official looking letter in the mail.  My initial thought it was a clever marketing campaign by another struggling carpet cleaning company.  Upon closer scrutiny (and before it hit the recycling bin), I realized it was not a marketing gimmick but in fact, a government issued envelope.  Of course my mind began to catastrophize. Did I run a red light?  Did I enter the carpool land as a single occupant?  Did I actually strangle  my   husband?  Did I did I did I?  My heart raced as I tore open the    envelope.  It was then I understood I had been called to fulfill my civic duty;  I was officially summoned to jury duty. Relief ensued  just prior to …

Language Blockade

Posted on December 6, 2013

I’ve always wished to communicate fluently in a language other than  my native English.  Like many, I know a smattering of words in Spanish, Japanese, French, German and Swahili.  I am confident that my rest room needs will be accommodated, my greetings conveyed and common curse words could be muttered under by breath in Mexico, Japan, France, Germany and Kenya.  I am also  confident that my worldly vocabulary will forever be limited to these few words.  I continue to lean on my belief that with friendly enthusiasm and genuine interest, anything can be conveyed – it will just take a little longer. In college, I briefly dated a young man who was of Puerto Rican descent.  Understand that his attendance was legendary as his…

Words for the Broken: Part One

Posted on October 20, 2013

Originally posted on myfauxpas:
With a heavy heart, I am re-posting Words for the Broken.  This morning, a young friend of our family lost their youngest, three-year-old daughter.  It was sudden and unexpected.  As my heart breaks in their sorrow and grief, I ask that you read the simple advice below.  I also ask that you lift your heart in prayer for this young family and for those in your life who are facing their own personal struggles. I’m convinced that death and divorce bring out the worst in people.  Some folks behave as though the event is contagious and fade out of the lives of those left behind.  Others simply shed their facade and display their true colors.  I guess you could say…

Words for the Broken: Part One

Posted on October 20, 2013

With a heavy heart, I am re-posting Words for the Broken.  This morning, a young friend of our family lost their youngest, three-year-old daughter.  It was sudden and unexpected.  As my heart breaks in their sorrow and grief, I ask that you read the simple advice below.  I also ask that you lift your heart in prayer for this young family and for those in your life who are facing their own personal struggles. I’m convinced that death and divorce bring out the worst in people.  Some folks behave as though the event is contagious and fade out of the lives of those left behind.  Others simply shed their facade and display their true colors.  I guess you could say this is redundant. I’ve…