Anyone in my familial circle can tell you I have a bladder possessing the stamina of an Olympian camel. As odd as it may be, I am quietly proud of this ability. I wouldn’t put it on par with my ability to turn my tongue upside down or my capacity to wiggle both ears alternately but one that I proud of none the less. You may ask how this fascinating bit of ridiculousness could in any way be applicable to a faux pas topic. Well, let me tell you… The Northland skies recently delivered us two feet of fresh, powdery snow. With enthusiasm, my husband and I loaded the snowmobiles to ride remote, wooded trails and cross frozen lakes and rivers. Along about the…
Posts from the “All” Category
What is a party with spinich dip? It’s a Direct Sales Home Party!
K. Martini
Posted on January 11, 2015
I recall the days when Tupperware and Avon were the home party king-pins. In fact, other than traveling salespeople peddling encyclopedias and vacuums, burping plasticware and Skin-So-Soft were only available through prestigious home party sales. I could not wait for the seasonal Avon catalog to be released. It was the female pre-pubescent equivalent of the lingerie section of the Sears catalog for the boys. Page upon glossy page of big girl glamour enticed me. I don’t recall my mother ever hosting such a soiree which accounts for why I relied on taking babysitting jobs from Avon representatives to obtain free samples of girlie goodies. Today, you could attend a home party nearly every night for four years and still not exhaust the product possibilities. …
Categories: All
Two years ago I received a very official looking letter in the mail. My initial thought it was a clever marketing campaign by another struggling carpet cleaning company. Upon closer scrutiny (and before it hit the recycling bin), I realized it was not a marketing gimmick but in fact, a government issued envelope. Of course my mind began to catastrophize. Did I run a red light? Did I enter the carpool land as a single occupant? Did I actually strangle my husband? Did I did I did I? My heart raced as I tore open the envelope. It was then I understood I had been called to fulfill my civic duty; I was officially summoned to jury duty. Relief ensued just prior to …
I’ve always wished to communicate fluently in a language other than my native English. Like many, I know a smattering of words in Spanish, Japanese, French, German and Swahili. I am confident that my rest room needs will be accommodated, my greetings conveyed and common curse words could be muttered under by breath in Mexico, Japan, France, Germany and Kenya. I am also confident that my worldly vocabulary will forever be limited to these few words. I continue to lean on my belief that with friendly enthusiasm and genuine interest, anything can be conveyed – it will just take a little longer. In college, I briefly dated a young man who was of Puerto Rican descent. Understand that his attendance was legendary as his…
Originally posted on myfauxpas:
With a heavy heart, I am re-posting Words for the Broken. This morning, a young friend of our family lost their youngest, three-year-old daughter. It was sudden and unexpected. As my heart breaks in their sorrow and grief, I ask that you read the simple advice below. I also ask that you lift your heart in prayer for this young family and for those in your life who are facing their own personal struggles. I’m convinced that death and divorce bring out the worst in people. Some folks behave as though the event is contagious and fade out of the lives of those left behind. Others simply shed their facade and display their true colors. I guess you could say…
Categories: All
With a heavy heart, I am re-posting Words for the Broken. This morning, a young friend of our family lost their youngest, three-year-old daughter. It was sudden and unexpected. As my heart breaks in their sorrow and grief, I ask that you read the simple advice below. I also ask that you lift your heart in prayer for this young family and for those in your life who are facing their own personal struggles. I’m convinced that death and divorce bring out the worst in people. Some folks behave as though the event is contagious and fade out of the lives of those left behind. Others simply shed their facade and display their true colors. I guess you could say this is redundant. I’ve…
Categories: All, Communication Protocols
Most mornings I greet the day by taking a two-mile run/walk (mostly walk) around the quiet parks and streets of my neighborhood. I covet this time. If I rise early enough I can trek without the barking of dogs or the roar of lawn mowers. I can contemplate my day or meditate without distraction. I become focused; more balanced. Serenity and calm take over the anxieties created from a hectic life pace. Picture if you will, a morning sky filled with white puffy clouds, an air temperature of 68 degrees Fahrenheit and a dazzling but lazy sun just peeking up from the horizon. The song of robins and cardinals singing in the light breezed filled air. Perfection, until horror strikes and yanks me from…
Categories: All
My husband’s Grandmother could create magical butterhorn crescent rolls from scratch. They were buttery, flaky little treasures that would flush the cheeks of Betty Crocker. After years of enjoying these tasty treats on holidays and special occasions, I summoned up the courage and made the request for her recipe. She humbly complied with my request and carefully scripted the top-secret formula on a 3 x 5 index card. I excitedly returned to my kitchen where I spent the next 2 weeks painstakingly following the directions she so carefully transcribed. Each attempt resulted in varying degrees of disaster leaving me to question my culinary proficiency. Following every embarrassing result I would phone her in hopes she could diagnose the issue. The response I received with…
Categories: All
It’s a widely known fact that I’ve been blessed with an abundance of unreserved expressions and social comforts. I’ve naively believed that everyone contains the same characteristics but in only slightly differing measure. My measure however; happens to be greater than most. While this characteristic comes in handy in most social situations, there are a few that require less spontaneous and reserved (dignified) engagements. Gaining a bartender’s attention is one such occasion. A recent Girl’s Night Out provides a glimpse into today’s illustration of a common social foible and some offense advice. Having just dined on a delectable meal of Greek food, we ladies adjourned to the bar area of the restaurant for a refreshing libation. After spending 20 minutes patiently waiting for table…
“Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me.” Anatole France ♦ A quiet little phenomenon pervades our culture and my home. While relatively mild on the spectrum of Faux Pas foibles, it is one that continually infiltrates my life. It is the issue of book borrowing. My husband and I lead small groups for our church and have come to acquire a large library of books and materials that support not only group topics but also personal enjoyment. In the past 15 years, we’ve lent out approximately 50 books. To date, not one of these books has been returned. This shocking statistic came to me yesterday as…
Categories: All, Everyday Civilities
6 months, 16 days, 1 hour and 38 minutes. That is exactly how long I held my dream job before I, along with 1100 of my colleagues, received notice of termination. Thankfully, this did not come as a complete surprise. There were bold indications weeks before the deed was done which allowed me to complete the cycle of emotions that accompany unwelcome news. Also thankfully, I cycle quickly. This cannot be said for many of my colleagues. Surviving a layoff with style and grace is not easy. As with many other traumatic life events, it calls one to dig deep, swallow hard and rise above the fray. This must be accomplished when your surroundings are anything but normal. Today’s advice comes to you born…
Categories: All, At the Workplace
Handling the division of a restaurant bill is a situation that presents itself with regularity. How to handle it with taste and grace can be tricky especially when your table is filled with diverse palates, relationships and wallet sizes. Here are some common sense strategies and etiquette tips that will aide in your bill-splitting navigations. #1: Request a separate check upon ordering. This not only assures that you will be accountable for only your costs but it conveys to the rest of your table partners you prefer to pay your portion only. #2: If the group suggests an even split, graciously contribute your portion and don’t get hung up on the pennies (i.e.: error on the generous side). This work well if the group…
Most of us have one. We have one member of the family, friend or acquaintance circle who is best described as “colorful”. I am no exception. Last Thanksgiving was especially meaningful. For the first time in 25 years my entire extended family joined together for merriment, food and fellowship. The youngest tot to the oldest patriarch united together under one roof for a day of loving chaos. As the day progressed and the wine flowed, my “colorful” sibling became increasingly colorful. Never one to restrain his gaiety (or his filters), I found we were about to enter forbidden and uncomfortable territories. Good taste does not have to squelch good humor. Unfortunately, there are some folks whose joke telling stipulates that all those within earshot…
You will never get the chance to regain a first impression. This is a universal rule and can be applied to every situation worldwide including the virtual variety. Usernames convey identity. Your username is your brand, your stamp, your label. It is a reflection of YOU. The following list illustrates just a sampling of the usernames I’ve encountered over the past 60 days. ↓ MissTittsTrick Hardboy69 Jkfg((y*948qup$S#@n09sfnwbp HairyLeftToenailed SoullessBitch Herpes_free_since_03 InJail_Outsoon ↓ As you examine each username above, close your eyes and call upon your own visual slide show to summon the image each one conveys. I believe I’ve made my point. K. Martini
My Mother was often described as a “colorful” woman. As a child, the term was innocently interpreted as a compliment. As I reflect on these comments as an adult, I’ve come to understand that “colorful” does not necessarily equate to positive behaviors. Life with my Mother was never boring. At her core, she could best be described as a stereotypical southern lady in the body of a northern suburbanite. Couple this with a tortured soul and closeted dependency issues and you have anything but boring. While I could retell stories that would curl the hair of a bald man, I will restrain myself and provide you with a relatively tame example of a Faux Pas “don’t”. First, let me impart you with some guidance…
Categories: All
While statistics vary only slightly, it is reported that approximately 75% of us color our hair. In the 1950’s the figure hovered around 7%. Thankfully, the progression of science has allowed us the freedom to become more attractive while avoiding the chemical hair-fry and unintentional color disasters of the past. I am not only thankful for the progression of science but am thankful that I was born with fabulous hair. The good Lord blessed me with light, honey colored locks; shiny, bouncy, thick and straight. I am not boasting. The good Lord also gave me legs with a 26 1/2″ inseam and a rack so large the girls can only be lifted with $150.00 bras. One day I will understand His logic. And His…
The holidays are behind us and our bank accounts have been “slenderized”. ‘Tis the season for scoring a great deal. In my house, everyday is the season. My couponing craze began as a young, married mother of two Money was tight in the early days while we established new careers and juggled tots. What was born of necessity became an obsession driven by thrifty competition. It’s was me against the retail establishment. Or something like that. While I don’t spend long hours in my pursuit of a great deal as I once did, you will still find a dedicated compartment in my wallet for valuable savings. I simply love the the thrill of obtaining rock-bottom prices. If you’ve read some of my past posts,…
I’m reissuing a post I wrote in May due to the nature of the season. With all of our lives filled with busyness and last-minute reminders of forgotten gifts, take a moment to pause and read (or re-read) etiquette guidelines for re-gifting. I don’t know about you but as the days creep closer to Christmas and panic begins to set in, I find I must resist the temptation to wrap Grandma’s crocheted plant holder lovingly given to me in 1979. Happy Holidays everyone! ♥ Re-Gifting. This is a relatively new term for off-loading your loot to another person all under the guise of an original gift. There are many justifiable reasons: You want to be “green” and recycle, you don’t have time to shop,…
“Dear [INSERT NAME], It’s hard to believe that another year has passed! You just can’t imagene the many blesings our family has experienced in 2012. Bob was promoted in July to the position of CEO. After the many long and tireless hours he’s committed to the compnay over the past 38 years, we are enjoying a more liveable wage of $650,000 per year. I just don’t know how we managed to get by on the pittance of just half that all these years. Now we will be able to afford the procedure to get rid of his little “wart” problem! Buffy just graduated Magna Cum Laude of her class at Yale. She missed Suma Cum Laude by .2% and attributes the oversight not to…
Perhaps the single most unattractive person in the world is one whose attitude and actions demonstrate a false sense of entitlement. Unattractive because the accompanying behaviors of entitlement are always rude. This person acts as though their needs and wants supersede all others. They believe they have a right to demand. They are owed. They are not appreciative. They are rarely happy and always selfish. They are “Takers”. We all know someone. They can be neighbors, relatives, acquaintances, strangers or co-workers. It is the brother who borrows money from you, fails to pay you back then gets irritated with you when you inquire. It is the woman in the restaurant who berates the waitress for not taking her order quick enough. It’s the party…
Categories: All, Everyday Civilities
“Taking joy in living is a women’s best cosmetic.” Rosalind Russell While Rosalind’s words ring true, a trip to the spa doesn’t hurt either. There is nothing like a warm robe and blackhead free face to perk me up. A trip to the spa is self-indulgence at it’s best. Being a thrifty and (usually) practical girl, dropping a couple hundred bucks for an hour or two of pampering can feel irresponsible. What’s ironic is that it feels irresponsible only upon arrival. Upon my light-headed exit I am convinced that the ritual is a practical necessity and will become weekly rather than bi-annual. Whether once a year or once a week, if you are headed towards self-indulgent luxury, keep these etiquette rules in mind:…
Categories: All, Out & About
Toilet, John, Loo, Lavatory, Restroom, Latrine, Privy, Commode, Potty, Throne, Chamber pot, Biffy, Outhouse, Powder room. There are nearly as many words for toilet as there are people who use the various terms. My mother called it the “Tinkle Room” which apparently was more delicate and ladylike than any of the other commonly used terms of her day. My mother fell into the group who used cutsie references for the bathroom. There is also the group that I will refer to as “Continental“. These folks utter words commonly used in countries they do not live in (ex: “Loo” = British ); cool wannabees. And last but not least we have the “Roughians“. Those who insist on referring to the bathroom in the crudest…
If you really want to feel special, order yourself a corsage and wear it for no apparent reason. You are not headed to the prom (thank you, Lord), a wedding or funeral. You are not celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, winner of the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes or named Pickle Salesperson of the Year. You simply love you. What a treat to be able to go about your day with the aroma and beauty of a fresh bloom or two. This little luxury will only cost you a few bucks. Much less than the cost of a bouquet which will sit on your counter while you spend the majority of your time away from it. Cheaper than a manicure, pedicure, facial or trip to…
I am not a frequent visitor to the ATM machine. This is primarily due to the fact I have little self-control over ready-at-hand cash. If I have cash in my wallet, I can justify frivolous spending like no one else. I’ve been able to tame my affliction fairly well however, there is the occasional need for cash. One such occasion recently presented itself when I was required to present cash for an international money transfer I needed to place. You guessed it; faux pas inspiration reared it’s beautiful head once again. It was a gorgeous fall afternoon. 68 degrees, light breeze and a sky full of sun. The ATM I approached was situated outdoors and canopied with a small awning to protect from window…
This week’s lesson: Nose Picking. Basic human function with basic good form potential. Let’s keep this simple… Pick your picker in private: No one, NO ONE wants to witness this function. No matter the audience or situation, when the urge strikes and you are visible to others, please refrain yourself and remove yourself. Once in a private setting, go nuts. This brings us to point #2. Use a paper tissue: If you find the need to explore your nose at the dining table, kindly excuse yourself and move to a rest room for tissue use. NEVER use a cloth napkin at the table for the job. Cleanse: Wash your hands or at the very least use antibacterial hand sanitizer when you’ve satisfactorily accomplished your…
I recently resigned from a company that I had been a part of for 15 years. I was offered a position with another company that was just too good to pass up. Being the new kid on the block comes with its perks and disadvantages. The perks feel like Christmas morning and I’m the bright, shiny new present under the tree. Everyone is welcoming and helpful as I navigate my way through the new organization. The disadvantages come with the fact that I’m navigating my way through the organization and have not yet successfully memorized the organizational chart (aka: I don’t know anyone). As luck would have it, my new department scheduled a social 1 1/2 weeks after my first day. A nice little…
I like games. I like all forms of games especially air hockey and Jeopardy. It is said however; that I suffer from a bad case of Tourette’s Syndrome when I play. This condition has warranted first aid for bloody injury and frowns from fellow players due to random verbal expressions of cursing. For me, a perfect evening might be comprised of a large, padded room free of inanimate objects, an air hockey table and a big screen TV where I could play both air hockey and Jeopardy simultaneously. The problem with this scenario is that I would be alone as no one I know shares my enthusiasm. I am competitive. This week’s Faux Pas lesson will be contained to the play of knowledge games…
In my lifetime, I’ve known three individuals within my circle of friends, family and acquaintances that could clear a room within 15 seconds. This uncanny ability is not due to any phenomenal skill other than the uncontrollable human affliction of noxious gas expulsion. It so happens that this community of peeps is of the male persuasion and find the act uproariously entertaining. I’ve yet to understand if the hilarity is due to embarrassment, reactions elicited in the nearby victims or a flaw in the gender. Either way, blatant offenses such as these need to be addressed. While your vapors may seem whimsical and sportive, you will not win points from the sitting ducks in the room. The following Faux Pas rules apply to all…
I know what images are dancing around in your head. Young Hollywood starlets, “Want-to-be-Famous-for-Nothings”, The Red Carpet. While the rise of American celebrity continues to plague us with ridiculous demonstrations of artificial behaviors, it is the air kiss that holds genuine promise for sincerity if executed properly. Although it might be assumed that this cultural phenomenon originated in Hollywood, its inception actually dates back more than a century ago from countries far, far away. It is hard to pinpoint the exact location but it’s safe to claim that air kissing was not invented by the Housewives of Orange County. These gals may only take claim to re-imaging the air kiss into a disingenuous and hollow greeting. Let’s begin our lesson with the Five W’s:…
NAPKIN: A diminutive little device used to wipe your mouth and hands while eating. If you happen to live in Canada, Australia, South Africa or the U.K., you may even refer to this handy little wipe as a Serviette. If you are American, please refrain from using that term as you will appear pretentious which would be a separate faux pas than we are addressing here. At the least, you will appear foolish especially if your dinner companions are wearing camo and/or are donning a mullet hairdo. So be it paper or cloth, there are specific etiquette guidelines for napkin use. Please note the following pointers: Place your nappy in your lap when seated at the table. Days of yore dictated that the guest…
It is time for a refresher. If my recent experiences are any indication of the evolution of civility, then I’m forced to start near the beginning with a repeater. Please read and forward the following message… Indispensable is a five syllable word that nicely compliments today’s posting; The Five Most Important Words in the civilized world. Actually, I’ve been blessed to travel all over the world and know these words have power everywhere; even among the non-civilized. What are they you ask? Since it’s been awhile since we attended Kindergarten, I will provide a little refresher. Thank-you Please I’m Sorry Excuse Me You’re Welcome Expressing appreciation is the trademark of civility. We either throw “thank-you” around willy-nilly or neglect to say it at all. …
Another recent excursion to the grocery store yielded not only a bargain on my favorite yogurt but a wealth of Faux Pas topics. Yes, it was a trip to Crazyville. While an abundance of themes eagerly await my purging, I will relate the following tidbit: Whose responsibility is it to place the partition bar on the conveyor belt? Answer: Whoever is in the front of the queue nearest the cash register. Reason: To keep each person’s lot separated from the other. Possible Reason Ramifications: Cost (aka:To avoid paying for and coming home with someone else’s delicious blood sausage or extra absorbent tampons.) This is only an issue if you are a menopausal vegan on a restricted budget. No matter your lifestyle, no one wants…
“Cock your hat – angles are attitudes” Frank Sinatra Once upon a time, men and their hats were divided into two camps: in one camp, a hat was worn for function, the other camp wore a hat for style. With the passage of time, distinctions and functions have faded. While our culture continues to become more casual with each generation, I believe that all men have had one desire throughout the millenniums: to be respected. Second desire: to be cool. Gone are the days when a young man was taught how to flip his lid respectfully. Every once in a great while we might be privileged…
I have an affection for the term “sleepover”. It conjures up childhood images of girlie overnight stays complete with giggles, Pop Tarts and feeble attempts to stay up until dawn. A majority of the time we would camp indoors with tattered sleeping bags lined up in rows. This obviously made the morning clean up easy – roll and go. As an adult, I’m happy that overnight stays with friends have graduated from bag to bed. As a good house guest, how should we leave the bed we’ve just slept in? Be it couch or bed, here’s the best advice: If sheets were used, remove them from the bed, neatly fold them and deposit at the foot of the bed. Pull up the remaining bedding…
Categories: All, Guest Relations
This is “Open Book” style. HINT: All of the questions below have just one correct and honorable answer. Can you find the exception? You will not be graded. ♦ You’ve received an invitation to a Flag Day party. The invitation is addressed to you. You really want to bring your five-year-old son. You will: Bring him along. Clearly this was an oversight. Find a babysitter. Call the host and ask if you can bring him along. It’s the 4th of July and you are going boating with friends. You are very popular as you’ve been boating every weekend this summer on a different lake. You have some leftover bait from May that is making a stink in your refrigerator. You bring it along and…
As I see it, rude behavior comes in a rainbow of colors. Each color signifies a degree and intent. ♣ BLUE: Unintentional Basically, these types of folk offenders just don’t know any better. While they may not have grown up in a barn, they were either not taught otherwise or missed the lesson. These types of offenses are easily forgiven. Example: Your mother-in-law audibly slurps her Earl Grey tea and uses her dinner fork to scratch her back at the dinner table. These offenses are not meant to hurt and are not directed to you. ♣ ORANGE: Disguised or Unconscious Orange faux pas’ could be divided into two camps but the degrees are the same. Generally, these are illustrated by people who are oblivious…
Several years ago, frustrated with the cost of owning a health club membership, I invested in a home gym. My uncanny ability to justify any purchase usually begins with the words “It will save us ____dollars!!” The dollar amount is universally inflated which nearly always closes the deal. My husband and I embarked on a room renovation with the zeal and enthusiasm of Jillian Michaels. While I’ve not verbalized the final cost outlay to anyone, I think it is safe to assume that we could have retained our gym membership until we were well into our 90’s and still had money left over for the next justifiable purchase. I am now the proud owner of the countries sturdiest and most expensive clothes line. I…
“Can you hear me now?” “Hello, Hello?” “Darn it I hate this phone!” This is the traditional litany of the dropped cell phone call. Neither partner ended the call voluntarily. You still have the juicy bits of the conversation to convey. You look contemptuously at your phone and momentarily wonder if he/she is going to call you back or if you should re-engage the call. Hmmmmm. Rule: Whoever initiated the call is the person who should make the call-back. ♥ Easy Peasy K. Martini
God has blessed me with many gifts. Thankfully those gifts include legs. My legs are fully functional in that I can get from point A to B without issue. My gene pool however; did not donate leg length. Vanity forces me to visually extend what my gene pool did not by wearing shoes with heels higher than a flip-flop. This fact does not pose any inconvenience with two regular exceptions: Hiking in the woods and having to remove my shoes at the door of a home I’ve been invited into. While my vanity can remain intact comfortably in the woods, it takes a hit when (as a good and humble house guest) I feel obligated to deposit my lifts at the front door upon…
Somehow, there is an irony in the fact that you can gauge a personality by a handshake. I believe that a handshake is a barometer of confidence. There are as many variations as people. Limp and loose, exact and firm, clammy and oppressive, combative and intrusive. I’ve yet to shake the hand of a successful woman whose grip is woefully limp and damp. I’ve not shaken the hand of a leader whose effective grip was curtailed by a weak sense of self-worth. This is not to say that an effective handshake signals a healthy ego. Sometimes, we just have to fake it. Whether a social or business environment, a proper handshake will commence an impression. Let’s kick-off our imprint in a positive light! Step…
I don’t love your dog. Before you get your hackles up, let me preface that with a disclaimer. There are pet people and there are non-pet people. My husband and I fall into the latter category. Don’t get me wrong, we love the idea of owning a pet because we like animals. We desperately want to be members of the pet club association and in out hearts, we are. Our last attempt into the prestigious club of dog ownership forced us into our reality. We owned a sweet and lovable bichon who we temporarily lent to my brother while we moved into a new home. Upon return, our sweet, curly, brown bundle returned our love by sprinting to the door and crying for three…
The heavy traffic of wedding season is now upon us. Fond memories of weddings past conjure up images of kisses and toasts. Many times the former is a direct result of the later. Ad nauseum. I have not pinpointed the reason why this bothers me. The reception room is filled with the cheerful clinking of glasses by utensil, groom kisses bride, bride kisses groom. All I can ever think is “please, just let them eat!“. I have no idea where this custom originated but am hoping that it is contained and quickly eradicated the world over. Aside from the dollar-dance, it is the lack of toasting know-how that disgruntles me. Toasting is not unique to weddings of course so the following simple rules apply…
My son was a competitive hockey player from the time he was three until 18 years of age. These years were dedicated to many long hours in ice arenas, camps, private lessons and tournaments. Many thousands of days were spent in the pursuit of his hockey enjoyment. This does not take into account the dollars spent and politics we suffered through. A missing element of instruction was noticed about the time he reached eight years of age. At that age, the youngsters were able to skate independently rather than in packs. They had fully grasped the rules of the game and started to realize the thrill of winning and the glory of individual achievement. As we all know, hockey is a team sport. As…
Last week I performed the professional faux pas of faux pas’s. Let me expound… I work for a large, global firm but have the luxury of working “remotely” (code word for home office). My work days are spent on the phone in conference calls and on the computer conducting all matters of business. My days are long and it is not uncommon for me to feel guilt about having to leave my desk for a restroom break. I’m still working on the work/life balancing act but I digress. Last week while on a conference call with a fellow colleague and a customer, I did it. I committed a whopper of a pecadillo that is still leaving a flush on my face. I unwittingly sent…
“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” Mae West The wonderful world of wedding season is upon us. For some, this means excitement and joy, for others it signifies relief from the abyss of planning purgatory. Having personally survived many weddings (my own as well as my children’s) and being witness to countless others, I feel it is my duty to right the ship on Maid of Honor duties. Ladies, if you have been honored with a request to be a Maid or Matron of Honor, you’ve essentially been called to duty. Don’t panic. This is a job for the tenacious; the tough; the strong and forcible! YOU CAN DO IT! Here’s how you can do it with style……
Categories: All, Holidays / Occasions
Our culture embraces intelligence and beauty. It is a hard fact of the world we live in. We “fit” into specific social circles or we don’t. You might say that you don’t care but that would be a lie. We all want to be admired and respected. The formula for good social form at any level is an easy one; love and respect yourself. Demonstrate it by dressing and speaking as though you do. People make instant judgements based on these elements. If you dress like a slob, you will be viewed as such. If you speak idiotically, you will be viewed as such. I am not saying you need to become someone you are not. I am saying that you need to be…
Ask any woman in America who “does” her hair and you will be provided with a monologue. It will be delivered in much the same way a spy cryptically delivers the formula for the H-Bomb. It will be divulged quietly and abruptly. If you are a close, personal friend you will receive more information than if you were merely an acquaintance. After all, we don’t want the world to learn of the magic hands we’ve studiously searched for. We found the prize and we don’t want to share. He or She is ours. 10 years, 6 weeks and 3 days ago I was forced to painfully re-enter the stylist search. “My girl” decided to bear children and become a stay-at-home mommy. I can still…
A few years ago, my daughter was describing a situation she caught herself in unwillingly. She was involved in a friendly conversation at work with several of her fellow nurses. It was friendly only on the surface as one of her colleagues clearly had an axe to grind with another nurse. As the axe wielding colleague gave way to temptation and verbally assaulted the other, the rest of the group was left with their mouths agape and an uncertainty on what to do. The nurse receiving the tongue lashing politely handled the situation with noble composure and professionalism. No rescue or interference was required. It also would have been professionally unwise. The rest of the group stood there with an expression my daughter aptly…
My daughter and son-in law love to fish. With two of their own tadpoles to tend to, they don’t get to take advantage of their hobby as often as they’d like. Although I don’t personally share their passion for angling, I’m often privy to their occasional rant. The diatribes generally involve dramatic reenactments of those who bend the rules on the water making the merriment of fishing miserable for all the others. The diatribes should be saved for the retelling of the size of the fish and the extreme and heroic efforts taken as the battle was won. In our neck of the woods, fishing is a year round sport. This may be obvious except for the fact that from December to March the…
This posting will be painful for some of you, but necessary. Please try to remember that what does not kill you just might make you stronger. At least, it will enlighten you. Ignorance might be bliss but it isn’t if you step on the toes of another person. You’ve received an invitation. You’ve studied it for hours. The invitation does not list your child by name nor does it mention that children are invited. The invitation may be in written form or verbal; it does not matter. The rules apply for each scenario. What do you do? In the midst of your bewilderment you will recall these words: THEY ARE NOT INVITED. You are now plotting… You are considering bringing your bundle of joy,…
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