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Cortege Pageantry: The Funeral Procession

Posted on January 27, 2013

My Mother was often described as a “colorful” woman.  As a child, the term was innocently interpreted as a compliment.  As I reflect on these comments as an adult, I’ve come to understand that “colorful” does not necessarily equate to positive behaviors.  Life with my Mother was never boring.  At her core, she could best be described as a stereotypical southern lady in the body of a northern suburbanite.  Couple this with a tortured soul and closeted dependency issues and you have anything but boring.  While I could retell stories that would curl the hair of a bald man, I will restrain myself and provide you with a relatively tame example of a Faux Pas “don’t”.  First, let me impart you with some guidance…

“What have you done to yourself?” Comments to live by.

Posted on January 12, 2013

While statistics vary only slightly, it is reported that approximately 75% of us color our hair.  In the 1950’s the figure hovered around 7%.  Thankfully, the progression of science has allowed us the freedom to become more attractive while avoiding the chemical hair-fry and unintentional color disasters of the past. I am not only thankful for the progression of science but am thankful that I was born with fabulous hair.  The good Lord blessed me with light, honey colored locks;  shiny, bouncy, thick and straight.  I am not boasting.  The good Lord also gave me legs with a 26 1/2″ inseam and a rack so large the girls can only be lifted with $150.00 bras.  One day I will understand His logic.  And His…