Perhaps the single most unattractive person in the world is one whose attitude and actions demonstrate a false sense of entitlement. Unattractive because the accompanying behaviors of entitlement are always rude. This person acts as though their needs and wants supersede all others. They believe they have a right to demand. They are owed. They are not appreciative. They are rarely happy and always selfish. They are “Takers”.
We all know someone. They can be neighbors, relatives, acquaintances, strangers or co-workers.
It is the brother who borrows money from you, fails to pay you back then gets irritated with you when you inquire.
It is the woman in the restaurant who berates the waitress for not taking her order quick enough.
It’s the party guest who only talks about themselves and neglects to acknowledge the others around them.
The adult child who assumes Mom and Dad will continue to fork over the cash and proceeds to get angry when the money train ends.
The neighbor who refuses to purchase the 25 cent lemonade from a child’s wagon because it’s “tacky”.
They are whiners. They appreciate only those who acknowledge their perceived pain or discomfort. That acknowledgement of course, only enables continued bad behaviors. They are experts at manipulation and weaving half-truths with lies in order to elicit a reaction from others. They thrive in the spotlight. They lack inner security. They take things for granted. They are nearly always the victim.
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There are no quick fixes or helpful hints to share regarding this affliction. Only humility and self-awareness can heal through the fruit of pain. What we can do is control our own reactions to bad behaviors. If we fail to take their bait, we free ourselves from shouldering their responsibility. While our failure to react will result in anger or resentment from the manipulator, it allows us to retain our self- respect and quite possibly, provide them benefit.
K. Martini