It’s a widely known fact that I’ve been blessed with an abundance of unreserved expressions and social comforts.  I’ve naively believed that everyone contains the same characteristics but in only slightly differing measure.  My measure however; happens to be greater than most.  While this characteristic comes in handy in most social situations, there are a few that require less spontaneous and reserved (dignified) engagements.  Gaining a bartender’s attention is one such occasion.

martini glass white

A recent Girl’s Night Out provides a glimpse into today’s illustration of a common social foible and some offense advice.  Having just dined on a delectable meal of Greek food, we ladies adjourned to the bar area of the restaurant for a refreshing libation.  After spending 20 minutes patiently waiting for table service, I sauntered up to the bar to place our order directly.  So did 20 other thirsty patrons.  I’m not a physically large girl so you would assume that the larger person would be the first to gain the attention of the barkeeper.  You might also assume that a large person with personality traits akin to mine would be the winner of Who Can Gain the Bartenders Attention First Contest.  You would be correct in your assumption if the large person with a large personality also had self-restraint and manners.  I handily won the stealthy contest with a personal best time of 15 seconds.  Before I divulge my attention-getting secrets, let me tell you what I DID NOT DO but what I witnessed as desperate, tacky and disrespectful tactics:


  • I did not yell “Hey Bartender!” and/or snap my fingers at him as he flashed before my eyes.
  • I did not whistle.
  • I did not throw a condiment, straw or coaster.
  • I did not lower my blouses neckline or crawl onto the bar top.


  • Positioned myself strategically.  As smaller girl, this was not behind the towering beer taps but rather close to where the bartender was most active.
  • Smiled, smiled and smiled some more.
  • Engaged and attempted to retain eye contact while simultaneously….
  • Keeping a slight bend of my relaxed but extended arm (see diagram below) with a $20 bill conspicuously visible.

Suggested Arm Placement


K. Martini