This posting will be painful for some of you, but necessary.  Please try to remember that what does not kill you just might make you stronger.  At least, it will enlighten you.  Ignorance might be bliss but it isn’t if you step on the toes of another person.
You’ve received an invitation. You’ve studied it for hours.  The invitation does not list your child by name nor does it mention that children are invited.  The invitation may be in written form or verbal; it does not matter.  The rules apply for each scenario.  What do you do?  In the midst of your bewilderment you will recall these words:  THEY ARE NOT INVITED. 

You are now plotting…

You are considering bringing your bundle of joy, toddler of terror or terrific teenager anyway.


STOP. THEY ARE NOT INVITED.

You are plotting again…

You will call the host and ask if you can bring your child.  This was clearly an oversight.


STOP. THEY ARE NOT INVITED.

Bringing an uninvited guest (including your little darling) to an event is rude.  Period.  Calling the host and asking if you can bring them puts your host in an awkward and uncomfortable position.  You, as a Faux Pas Professional will not even consider these options.  You will do the following:

·

1.) Arrange for child care OR

2.) Politely decline the invitation.  You will do so without passive-aggressive techniques or long, drawn out explanations.

·

But what if your babysitter cancels at the last-minute?  You may think this is the opportunity you’ve been secretly hoping for! Hope springs eternal after all!   Now, you can go to the event and bring your child!


STOP. THEY ARE NOT INVITED. 

Again, being the Faux Pas Pro that you are means that you will call the host and politely explain the situation; thank them for the invite but you will not be able to attend after all.  Even if the host tells you that “it’s ok” you will remain firm!  Now for the but…

If your host is adamant that you attend with your child in tow, well then,  you may consider it.  Before you do, please consider if the event is appropriate for your child before accepting.

CONGRATULATIONS!  You are now enlightened.

K.Martini