God has blessed me with many gifts.  Thankfully those gifts include legs.  My legs are fully functional in that I can get from point A to B without issue.  My gene pool however; did not donate leg length.  Vanity forces me to visually extend what my gene pool did not by wearing shoes with heels higher than a flip-flop.  This fact does not pose any inconvenience with two regular exceptions:  Hiking in the woods and having to remove my shoes at the door of a home I’ve been invited into.

While my vanity can remain intact comfortably in the woods, it takes a hit when (as a good and humble house guest) I feel obligated to deposit my lifts at the front door upon entry.  Once removed, I am compelled to walk around on tip toes to avoid my pant legs from dragging on the floor.  I could live with this if I was Elle McPherson or if I wore dresses.

So as not to commit a peccadillo and pose any inconvenience to my host, I immediately embark on the following in rapid sequential order:

◊  Scan the local area surrounding the threshold to see if there are shoes deposited.  Initially, this COULD signal that the home I’ve just entered mandates removal of all manner of footwear.  If visible footwear consists of snow boots, galoshes or golf spikes and it is neither raining, a winter month or a club house, I MIGHT be in the clear.

◊  I do not see a “Please Remove your Shoes” sign.

◊  I review the floor coverings in all areas easily seen from my current vantage point.  Tile, wood (real or fake) or any other hard flooring service MIGHT allow intrusion.  Carpets, especially pale in color nearly always signal bare tootsies.

◊  Take note of the other feet.  If the host or most of the other guests are donning shoes, BINGO.  I am probably safe wearing my wedges.

The fact of the matter is, the home you’ve just graced with your presence is not your house.  Respectful guest behavior dictates that you oblige whatever house rules apply.  If after quickly assessing the situation you are still in doubt, kindly ask your host if she would prefer that you remove your’ penny loafers.

I have on occasion brought a back-up, indoor friendly pair of footwear to replace those I’ve worn crossing the doorway.  This is tricky.  It’s a hard sell convincing anyone that you’re 3″ shoebooties are indoor wear only.

As a host, it is also your obligation to make your guest comfortable.  Exercising some flexibility with your shoe rule might be in order.

As for me and my house…my floors are dressed in stone and wood with a minimum of carpeting.  Whatever you wear as you enter my castle, you are welcome to wear during your stay.  I have a mop.

K. Martini