This year’s work travels have uncovered a topic that bears address. Chicago, New York, Atlanta all presented unique but comparable situations that resulted in a vast array of outcomes. Some of them I experienced directly; some as a casual but fascinated observer. I’m talking about the revolving door. As unassuming as the revolving door is, gender entry presents a complex faux pas conundrum. One personal case in point… I arrive (alive) at my New York hotel via cab and approach the revolving door at almost the same time a swarthy looking gentleman approaches. I will call him “Jack” because nearly all masculine media heroes are named Jack. A well-appointed doorman was present and had he not been pre-occupied, I am sure…
Posts from the “Gentlemen” Category
Toilet, John, Loo, Lavatory, Restroom, Latrine, Privy, Commode, Potty, Throne, Chamber pot, Biffy, Outhouse, Powder room. There are nearly as many words for toilet as there are people who use the various terms. My mother called it the “Tinkle Room” which apparently was more delicate and ladylike than any of the other commonly used terms of her day. My mother fell into the group who used cutsie references for the bathroom. There is also the group that I will refer to as “Continental“. These folks utter words commonly used in countries they do not live in (ex: “Loo” = British ); cool wannabees. And last but not least we have the “Roughians“. Those who insist on referring to the bathroom in the crudest…
If you really want to feel special, order yourself a corsage and wear it for no apparent reason. You are not headed to the prom (thank you, Lord), a wedding or funeral. You are not celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, winner of the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes or named Pickle Salesperson of the Year. You simply love you. What a treat to be able to go about your day with the aroma and beauty of a fresh bloom or two. This little luxury will only cost you a few bucks. Much less than the cost of a bouquet which will sit on your counter while you spend the majority of your time away from it. Cheaper than a manicure, pedicure, facial or trip to…
This week’s lesson: Nose Picking. Basic human function with basic good form potential. Let’s keep this simple… Pick your picker in private: No one, NO ONE wants to witness this function. No matter the audience or situation, when the urge strikes and you are visible to others, please refrain yourself and remove yourself. Once in a private setting, go nuts. This brings us to point #2. Use a paper tissue: If you find the need to explore your nose at the dining table, kindly excuse yourself and move to a rest room for tissue use. NEVER use a cloth napkin at the table for the job. Cleanse: Wash your hands or at the very least use antibacterial hand sanitizer when you’ve satisfactorily accomplished your…
In my lifetime, I’ve known three individuals within my circle of friends, family and acquaintances that could clear a room within 15 seconds. This uncanny ability is not due to any phenomenal skill other than the uncontrollable human affliction of noxious gas expulsion. It so happens that this community of peeps is of the male persuasion and find the act uproariously entertaining. I’ve yet to understand if the hilarity is due to embarrassment, reactions elicited in the nearby victims or a flaw in the gender. Either way, blatant offenses such as these need to be addressed. While your vapors may seem whimsical and sportive, you will not win points from the sitting ducks in the room. The following Faux Pas rules apply to all…
“Cock your hat – angles are attitudes” Frank Sinatra Once upon a time, men and their hats were divided into two camps: in one camp, a hat was worn for function, the other camp wore a hat for style. With the passage of time, distinctions and functions have faded. While our culture continues to become more casual with each generation, I believe that all men have had one desire throughout the millenniums: to be respected. Second desire: to be cool. Gone are the days when a young man was taught how to flip his lid respectfully. Every once in a great while we might be privileged…
faux pas [foh pah] noun, plural faux pas [foh pahz; Fr. foh pah] a slip or blunder in etiquette, manners, or conduct; an embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion. There are as many words for a social blunder as social blunders. My personal favorite (aside from Faux Pas) is peccadillo; a very minor or slight sin or offense; a trifling fault. The word is just flat-out fun to say. Years of silently and sometimes not so silently witnessing social errors lead me to purge through blogging. I can’t possibly be alone in my frustrations! Misery loves company… Not only are there a zillion words for etiquette, there are a zillion more possible subjects just waiting for juicy comment. BUT… comments are not enough. As…
myfauxpas 