Posts by K. Martini

Nearly Naked Neanderthals

Posted on August 10, 2013

Most mornings I greet the day by taking a two-mile run/walk (mostly walk) around the quiet parks and streets of my neighborhood.  I covet this time.  If I rise early enough I can trek without the barking of dogs or the roar of lawn mowers.  I can contemplate my day or meditate without distraction.  I become focused; more balanced.  Serenity and calm take over the anxieties created from a hectic life pace. Picture if you will, a morning sky filled with white puffy clouds, an air temperature of 68 degrees Fahrenheit and a dazzling but lazy sun just peeking up from the horizon.  The song of robins and cardinals singing in the light breezed filled air.  Perfection, until horror strikes and yanks me from…

A Request for the Secret Formula

Posted on June 25, 2013

My husband’s Grandmother could create magical butterhorn crescent rolls from scratch.  They were buttery, flaky little treasures that would flush the cheeks of Betty Crocker.  After years of enjoying these tasty treats on holidays and special occasions, I summoned up the courage and made the request for her recipe.  She humbly complied with my request and carefully scripted the top-secret formula on a 3 x 5 index card.  I excitedly returned to my kitchen where I spent the next 2 weeks painstakingly following the directions she so carefully transcribed.  Each attempt resulted in varying degrees of disaster leaving me to question my culinary proficiency.  Following every embarrassing result I would phone her in hopes she could diagnose the issue.  The response I received with…

Hey you, Bartender!

Posted on June 5, 2013

It’s a widely known fact that I’ve been blessed with an abundance of unreserved expressions and social comforts.  I’ve naively believed that everyone contains the same characteristics but in only slightly differing measure.  My measure however; happens to be greater than most.  While this characteristic comes in handy in most social situations, there are a few that require less spontaneous and reserved (dignified) engagements.  Gaining a bartender’s attention is one such occasion. A recent Girl’s Night Out provides a glimpse into today’s illustration of a common social foible and some offense advice.  Having just dined on a delectable meal of Greek food, we ladies adjourned to the bar area of the restaurant for a refreshing libation.  After spending 20 minutes patiently waiting for table…

Book Crooks

Posted on May 11, 2013

“Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me.”  Anatole France ♦ A quiet little phenomenon pervades our culture and my home.  While relatively mild on the spectrum of Faux Pas foibles, it is one that continually infiltrates my life.  It is the issue of book borrowing.  My husband and I lead small groups for our church and have come to acquire a large library of books and materials that support not only group topics but also personal enjoyment.  In the past 15 years, we’ve lent out approximately 50 books.  To date, not one of these books has been returned.  This shocking statistic came to me yesterday as…

A Graceful Layoff

Posted on May 6, 2013

6 months, 16 days, 1 hour and 38 minutes.  That is exactly how long I held my dream job before I, along with 1100 of my colleagues, received notice of termination.  Thankfully, this did not come as a complete surprise.  There were bold indications weeks before the deed was done which allowed me to complete the cycle of emotions that accompany unwelcome news.  Also thankfully, I cycle quickly.  This cannot be said for many of my colleagues.  Surviving a layoff with style and grace is not easy.  As with many other traumatic life events, it calls one to dig deep, swallow hard and rise above the fray.  This must be accomplished when your surroundings are anything but normal. Today’s advice comes to you born…

At the Eatery: Splitting the Bill

Posted on April 6, 2013

Handling the division of a restaurant bill is a situation that presents itself with regularity.  How to handle it with taste and grace can be tricky especially when your table is filled with diverse palates, relationships and wallet sizes. Here are some common sense strategies and etiquette tips that will aide in your bill-splitting navigations. #1:  Request a separate check upon ordering.  This not only assures that you will be accountable for only your costs but it conveys to the rest of your table partners you prefer to pay your portion only. #2:  If the group suggests an even split, graciously contribute your portion and don’t get hung up on the pennies (i.e.: error on the generous side).  This work well if the group…

A Priest and a Rabbi Walk into a Bar: The Unscrupulous Joke

Posted on March 13, 2013

Most of us have one.  We have one member of the family, friend or acquaintance circle who is best described as “colorful”.  I am no exception.  Last Thanksgiving was especially meaningful.  For the first time in 25 years my entire extended family joined together for merriment, food and fellowship.  The youngest tot to the oldest patriarch united together under one roof for a day of loving chaos.  As the day progressed and the wine flowed, my “colorful” sibling became increasingly colorful.  Never one to restrain his gaiety (or his filters), I found we were about to enter forbidden and uncomfortable territories. Good taste does not have to squelch good humor.  Unfortunately, there are some folks whose joke telling stipulates that all those within earshot…